Being a Stay-at-Home mom and being sane at the same time is almost impossible if you’re not ready to accept motherhood from the heart. A wise woman calmed me down just recently after listening to my whining, and just that one sentence she said marked a huge impact on my way of looking at motherhood.
“Enjoy this time, a couple of years from now these toddlers won’t be sleeping with you anymore and they will have their own lives, you’re gonna miss this precious time trust me”
This is exactly what every older woman around tells us all the time, but after listening it from her, I unexpectedly observed that time is actually flying real fast.
Here are a few tips which can help a little in living the day through for an in-sane mom 😀
Leave the phone aside
Checking out updates on people’s lives on social media mustn’t be your thing anymore. It will just be a waste of effort and time- which is what you need the most for raising your kids. One fragment of your thoughts wanders here n there, and the day is ruined. As your brain wants to concentrate on something that attracts you, your kids will instantly notice your lack of attention and they will be asking for even more of it. This is when you both get irritable and frustrated. So try not to bring up the phone in front of them, and limit the browsing time for when they’re asleep or away.
Forget your wishes for the time being
This does nor simply mean forgetting yourself altogether, play it smart, plan and involve your partner, mom or anyone who can be trusted with the kids, and then head for whatever you wish to do. I personally love to shop for the kids while they’re away, and spending some money once in a while kind of relaxes me.
But remember while you’re with the kids, just try not to think about your stuff.
Prayer and meditation is a great way to calm your nerves down and release your stress and anxiety. Try to incorporate it in your daily routine, just make a little effort for it and things will fall in routine in a few days.
Exercising daily not only keeps you fit, but active too. It keeps away your lethargy, something that the toddlers just can’t tolerate from their mother. They require you to be active and attentive the whole time. Find out fun workouts/dances to do with the kids, or just take them to a nearby park where you could walk with/without stroller, and they can play in-front of you.
Be Grateful-Thank Enough
If you chose to take things for granted then you might find a thousand ways to be thankless, but if you’re a good onlooker you might realize the limitless blessings you have. Be thankful that your child is not crippled or physically challenged, and so what if he is, be thankful for having him/her- for the ones who’ve been trying for years and aren’t fertile enough feel incomplete everyday. Be grateful for being able to feed your child, for the ones who lose their babies in war, or in drought. Be grateful that your child has both the parents, and if not then thank God at-least you are there for them.
Learn to appreciate the little things in life and trust me it will be much better.
Find an Activity
There must be some things you’d love to do. Find a DIY or some activity that can be your thing after the kids dose off. Remember it’s gonna be a slow process to get to the end or to simply get going, but that’s OK. Don’t rush into achieving milestones, just let it be your side activity that means something to you, but not everything.
Go with the flow, don’t trade sleep or personal well-being for it. In my case, just an hour of peaceful concentration is enough for now, and the feeling of accomplishment of doing something boosts my moral for starting the next day.
Plan your Day
Preparing a (flexible) day plan is I would say MUST, as life is short and you don’t wanna waste any more time by just being lazy the whole day through. Waking up early in the morning can make you optimize your day, and the children will automatically adopt this rise n shine routine. Some of the day activities should include T.V-time, reading time, play-time, clean-up, learning something new everyday time, going outside the home, helping in or just understanding house chores, and any other productive activity that comes up in your mind which helps develop your child’s senses.
Read to them
Reading is a great pastime with toddlers. Get colorful books and reading material for them, my little ones always adore a little addition into their bookshelf once in a while. Let their imagination and vocabulary grow while they cherish in your lap.
Let them participate in house chores
Involving your kids in the kitchen, cleaning and other house chores is a useful idea. Things will be messy in the beginning, but will turn into fun and they will learn some bits with time. This chart below is one of my favorite for keeping a check, and the best part is that the kids actually love to handle little responsibilities and real-life material rather than toys that have turned boring after continuously playing with them for a long time.
My toddler’s favorite activity is polishing her shoes and kneading bread dough with me.
Stop whining- Nobody cares
Nobody, especially other women, and men, generally nobody at all wants to hear the story of how miserable your day was. Either they will laugh, or come up with a worst story which had happened to them, just to make your misery look smaller and less-depressive. SO STOP WHINING! That’s the only thing you can do to feel and look better. If you want other’s to sympathize then sure they will, however if you portray yourself as a strong and controlling home-maker, I think that will be a much better option.
Involve your partner in raising the kids
Not all fathers are responsive with kids, but there’s a solution to every problem. Find out his favorites from his childhood so that he can relate while playing with them, or just making them learn something. If he doesn’t want to do anything then just sit together in a room as a family for an hour and let them play while you can ask each other about how their day was.
Make the right friends
Socializing with people from different age groups and marital statuses can be very confusing and can create an imbalance in your life. Find friends who can relate with your stories and partner in your outings, they might understand your problems and come up with real useful solutions, meanwhile your kids can be comfortable in the process too.
Wake up early
Waking up early means that the day ends early too, which means you can enjoy an hour of peace before going to bed. Trust me that happy hour is worth waiting for the 14 hour crazy day you’ve had with those little lidless blenders :). Try to do something you love in that time, e.g reading a book, crochet, movies, or simply having a moment to chit chat with your partner in silence. But remember, keep at least 8 hours of sleep aside when making your routine, whether they’re split into naps or sleeping once, otherwise nothing will please you much.
Get dressed every morning, wear that push up bra and put on a little lip color! Look good to yourself when you look into the mirror. That way you will feel less miserable and a little fresh. Come out of those yoga pants, feel beautiful!
If you’re facing depression, seek help from a professional immediately
Do not take it lightly, depression can eat you up in a matter of months, and is too risky. Seek help, involve your partner and overcome it gradually. Read about causes and solutions on-line. My favorite birth club was at Baby Center, which is an easy-to-use app where you can find answers to each and every motherhood problems.