It might be unusual for some of you to digest this, because maybe you haven’t got a chance to live as a nuclear family- or maybe just because you think nothing can be worse than the Pakistani joint family system. Eastern women generally are known for complaining in either ways. For them, grass is always greener on the other side, “Things would have been better if…” they console themselves every other day after being reminded that they are failing at managing the house properly.
Since we already know that, let’s complain a little more and talk about the drawbacks of nuclear family system. The benefits are undoubtedly uncountable, but I think they only become obvious when you are stuck in an opposite situation. Each member of the family knows and pays the cost of living the nuclear family life equally, whether it be monetary or social.
Raising kids in the best family structure is our foremost concern, which affects their upbringing a lot, so here are a few reasons due to which me and my husband constantly advise new couples to spend the initial years of their marriage in a joint family, so that they know the costs and benefits of both and take the “moving out” step after lots of homework.
Burden of never-ending chores
When there are only two adults in the house, it gets difficult with time to get all the housework done and meet every person’s needs alone. Either of the parent has to do the bills, grocery, maintenance, cleaning, welcoming guests, and so on. It bounds the couple into a fixed routine, which hardly has space for them to pamper themselves or maintain a balance in their relationships.
Stress, depression, anxiety can all be a result of nuclear family burnout.
Unlike the house which is run by multiple earning and contributing members, in this case there is most likely one or maximum two persons to bear the burden. Fixed costs such as rent and bills sum up to much more than of the former comparatively, in addition to other expenses such as food and education which are non-negotiable.
Doesn’t sound like true but it actually is. From the beginning it has been boring to dine at home with only one or two persons every day after you’ve just moved out from a house full of people. Especially like months of Ramadan become too dull without much chit chats and family time eating together.
The weekends are reserved for friends and family hangouts as the couple already has the whole week to “enjoy private time together” as others think, but that’s not really the case. If you because of any reasons are a non-social person, spending time when your partner is not around can be really difficult. You need to have a lot of friends and activities e.g an actual job for instance, sports, arts, etc to keep yourself busy.
Lack of help in raising the kids
The scariest part about living in a nuclear family is raising the kids. It’s the reason which led me to write this article today, and there is no way of it getting better with time as was suggested by elders.
Children need people around to play with or at the least someone who can buck them up at their hourly achievements, a job which the mother usually gives up by the evening, and when the dad gets back from work, he’s hardly left with any energy to spread.
Lack of daily drama and conflicts
When living in a separate family, it can get really challenging for the kids to deal with real life outside their happy home. The first child is often the anti-social one as he spends most of his quality time in a quiet house seeing only a couple of smiling faces.
Because there are a limited number of people, the conflicts and amount of daily drama is also very little, which sometimes is essential to spice up the daily monotonous family routine. It’s also necessary for the kids to face it sometimes so that they gain confidence and learn public dealing and behaviors.